Chloe here is hawking both The 5th Wave and her new role in the live-action Little Mermaid. I am SIDE-EYEING THE HECK out of deciding to make that one. It worked in animation, but I don’t feel like an actual human person gazing into the prongs of a fork and cooing, “A DINGLEHOPPER,” will be as engaging.

Also not engaging: This dress. It had potential, though. Honestly, if I could just see it without the mouth stitched onto it, we might already be in better shape. It looks like her abdomen is being squeezed out through those black seams (lace? ribbon?). It’s making her lumpy in ways she assuredly is not. I personally would also scrap the expired bird on her shoulder. The new year has been enough of a bummer already.

Earlier in the day, she made the talk-show rounds:

… I’ll take the shoes? But please burn the odd little tube-boobed sweater with the tires around her armpits, and the leather kilt crossed with a chastity belt. None of those words need to be in the same sentence, much less be things that are on the same person.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet]