You might recall the time Rita Ora wore a terrycloth robe and towel to the MTV EMAs, complete with a full towel twisted atop her head.¬†Well, it’s possible someone has decided that bathwear needs to happen for real, because Taraji has now popped up in a formal version. On Rita, it came off as sort of amusing, because she leaned so hard into it. This feels like it’s trying to pretend it isn’t a robe, but rather just some kind of very imitative wrap dress or trenchcoat. I am not fooled. It is a robe with buttons — as if as if she wasn’t in the mood to get dressed and thus took the Four Seasons sewing kit and added some flourishes. It is cut like a robe, it hangs like a robe, its slit does what robes do. If it were A.A. Milne, it would be called Christopher Robe-in. If this were a country singer, it’d be Roby Keith. If it were a novel: Roby Dick. Close your eyes and listen, and you will hear the wind call the name, “Tarooooooobeji P. Henson.” I guess I’d better get mine hemmed.

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