First, and of PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE: This looks like it MIGHT be culottes, but after an exhaustive examination, I can assure you that it IS a dress. Also of import: Elle is wearing this to a “lifestyle” party for a real estate investor (who prominently features a photo of himself in a tux caressing a horse on his website, which also includes a section called “MR-Lifestyle,” which I think is a vanity magazine he produces) in Majorca. Which….let’s think about this for a second. If you were a famous model who was attending what is surely a kind of bullshit party that’s possibly concurrently also very fun, in Majorca…you probably WOULD wear something HUGELY sparkly that also incorporates a spangled bandeau bikini top. I mean, right? Isn’t this what EVERYONE wears to parties thrown by men who do photoshoots with horses?

[Photo:  Sean Thorton/]