“Well, lovers, I am tired. I have been selling my book True Love and trying to promote The Voice or whatever and I did not have time to go shopping for something that did not look like Kim Kardashian. Although lovers, it is true that I would do Kim Kardashian better than Kim Kardashian could do it. I would have married a better basketball player and dated a football player who is not made of glass and I would have married a man with TWO directions in his name and there would be a religion based on my body. Like Scientology but without any science, or ology, but maybe we could keep the aliens. Call it Lopezanity, and the core belief is that if you do not bow to The Lopez then Matthew McConaughey sends you to Mars. But lovers, I need a high priest to match me. I need true love, lovers. I thought True Love would be The Secret, where I put my book out there and it found me. I do not know when or how I will find my…

J.LO: … Lover?!?

GERARD BUTLER: I’ve been called worse!

J.LO:  LOVER!!!!!!!!

GERARD BUTLER: Wait, you weren’t joking? Brilliant! I’m better at this than I thought, and I knew I was pretty damn good.

[Photos: Getty]