This dress may be my worst nightmare since that time I dreamed Tori Spelling was president.
Although that dream ended up sort of entertaining — she hired Shannen Doherty to be her Secretary of Defense, and frankly, what with how I think all politicians are might be secretly (or openly) insane these days, Tori Spelling might actually be a breath of fresh air. And then we can have Dean McDermott, the First Husband, popping by Nate Berkus’s show and Dr. Oz and whatnot explaining all about his vegetable garden and how much he values colon health. It’s a bad sign for this dress that I can turn President Spelling into a fun idea, but I can’t turn it into anything I like. Every adjective that runs through my head has a scatalogical bent. It’s like I’m looking through a kaleidoscope trained inside somebody’s large intestine, and found a tiny race of waste-based life forms who are throwing a key party.
Can it get worse? Well, she did turn around…
That’s either her colon alien overlord, or Siri.
[Photos: Getty, WENN]