Happy Memorial Day weekend, Americans! (Happy weekend to the rest of the world.) Hope you’re kicking off your summer in style — we will be back posting as usual on Tuesday, May 29th.  It would be remiss of me not to suggest that you pick up a paperback copy of SPOILED for your holiday weekend read — and to remind you that it’s VERY possible MESSY could be out at your local bookstore now (even though it doesn’t officially come out until the 5th). Kick off your fluffy summer reading with US! After all, the gorgeous geniuses at Forever Young Adult called MESSY “beyond fabulous.” As, dear reader, are you. But until then:

Are Pacey and Kruger SECRETLY BETROTHED? I just love a secret betrothal. (Celebitchy)

Jimmy Fallon’s Downton Abbey parody is back! I love that Jimmy is essentially writing Downton fanfic.(Vulture)

– This week marks the 7th anniversary of Tom Cruise’s Couch-Jumping. SEVEN YEARS. Gawker takes a comprehensive and kind of amazing look back. I can’t believe that GFY is merely one year old than the Cruise/Holmes relationship. We were all so YOUNG then. (Gawker)

Stephen Colbert is number 69 on the Maxim list of the Hottest Women in America, which honestly feels just about right. (Gawker)

– Ooooh, you are going to LOVE this article about the fashionable influences of Queen Elizabeth. Seriously. (BBC)

A 15 year old boy created a test for early-stage pancreatic cancer that is 90% accurate and way cheaper than current testing. That kid is brilliant and awesome. (Time)

– This is a very interesting look about the day in the life of a NYC cab driver. (NY Mag)

– Grantland discusses the sartorial brilliant of Craig Sager. (Grantland)

– Britney’s X-Factor rider has been leaked and it RULES. Ahem:  12 Snickers bars, 10 bags of Doritos, 6 cases of Diet Coke containing 24 cans, 12 vases of magnolia blossoms, 10 pieces of chicken, and four pints of potato salad. Let’s be real. This is also MY RIDER. FOR LIFE. (Celebitchy)

Let’s talk about notorious actor/director feuds. I ALSO love a good feud. (Flavorwire)

The Awl did a piece called “Becoming Joan Didion” that Didion fans (of which I am one) will be well advised to read. (The Awl)

The Awl is ALSO discussing Gone With the Wind, and I think you guys are going to enjoy said discussion. (The Awl)

– All I need to say about this article is the following series of words: fatal traffic jams…ON MOUNT EVEREST. (Atlantic Wire)

– Oh no. Now Tara Reid is apparently a mess again (no surprise, sadly) and is dating some very tan older man. If it were five years ago, I’d make a Carson Daly joke (remember when they were engaged?) but he somehow has a job again. And actually, now that I think about it, maybe marrying a very tan rich older dude is EXACTLY what Tara Reid SHOULD do.  Actually, I think this is a GREAT plan for her. She SHOULD marry an older richer European dude and just loll by the pool. Life problems: SOLVED. (Lainey)