I was going to rag on Liev for looking insane, but then I realized his CLOTHES are actually perfectly dapper, and it’s just the mustache that is making him look deranged.

Naomi looks nearly very swell, except that the panels on the side almost read like sweat stains, as if she is having INTENSE anxiety about having to make out with Liev’s lip later and broke into some Broadcast News-level flop sweat.

Naturally, it is not sweat. It’s semi-sheers:


I just think the dress doesn’t ride or die with that detail, you know? Leave it off, and it’s still perfectly pretty, and no risk of dandruff from excessive head-scratching.  Or even… keep the detail but have it not reach all the way up under her armpit. Just make it a splash on either side. (“And a splash of Bloody Mary mix… just a splash“) Given the insanity we so recently have witnessed on a rash of celebs from Kidman to Bosworth, it seems crazy to care when this is perfectly serviceable, but hey, my job is to be Seriously Persnickety, which will also be engraved on my tombstone one day (just in time for Jessica to light it on fire in a possibly drunken funk, I assume; Fug Nation, it is UP TO YOU to make sure SOMEONE lights my grave on fire for reasons of grief, okay?).

[Photos: Getty]