First! Did you miss our editable bracket? This link will open it! Next: The photos we show aren’t the ONLY ones in consideration; just a representative sample of everything worn from after the Oscars in 2019, through Feb. 10, 2020. Polls close after roughly 24 hours. Vote on any device, as often as you want to or can. 

To jump to the polls:
(1) Bella Hadid vs. (16) FKA Twigs · (4) Julianne Hough vs. (13) Chrissy Teigen · (5) Ellie Goulding vs. (12) Lucy Boynton · (8) Priyanka Chopra vs. (9) Ciara


She is Formerly Known As Twigs, and now currently obviously known as Madam Pythoness von Plush, brothel owner and sorceress and general randy soul who suffers no fools:

62nd Annual Grammy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 26 Jan 2020

Unfortunately, she herself was dressed like one at this particular event, where it looks for all the world like she tried to hook her robe to her body so that she did not slip it right off forever:

2019 MTV Video Music Awards

Burberry is really headed into the toilet, yes? Look what it sent her to wear to a show:

Burberry show, Arrivals, London Fashion Week, UK - 16 Sep 2019

I just… really? Can we reset and just do an entire show of trenchcoats, y’all?

This outfit, I actually rather like on her…

The Serpentine Gallery Summer Party 2019 held at Kensington Gardens

… until we arrive at her socks.

And y’all, I don’t even know how to prepare you for this. Had I known before last night that this existed, we might have made different choices. But I didn’t. It is… something. It is this:

Celebrities Visit SiriusXM - November 21, 2019

She is dressed like a Covent Garden pickpocket by way of Vivienne Westwood or Anna Sui, and I cannot honestly tell if this is a sincere tribute to Diana or the kind of ironic trendy thing that would make Elton John cry tears of betrayal.

Bella Hadid has no time for such tomfoolery. By which I mean, “fabric.”

2019 MTV VMAs

These halter bibs were ALL the rage with her this year, for reasons that I can only conclude had to do with them being free:

Louis Vuitton : Photocall - Paris Fashion Week - Menswear F/W 2020-2021

Speaking of free, Bella’s abs were for much of the year as well.

Celebrity Sightings In Paris - January 22, 2020

Which, okay, but a top connected by safety pins is so depressing. But at least it covers her boobs. I can’t tell if this does:

Celebrity Sightings In New York City - July 25, 2019

If I am understanding this photo correctly, Bella wore this TO TRAVEL SOMEWHERE. It COULD be underboob, or it could be the top tucking under her boobs, but either way, I wish America hadn’t stopped wearing real pants to so many places. This outfit is my personal NIGHTMARE to wear on a plane.

This was for the Met Gala afterparty, and MAYBE it’s an homage to… Ed Hardy? I don’t know.

The Mark Hotel : 2019 Met Gala

But I don’t like it. The shoes that look like your feet have been laced up through the skin are so Jame Gumb to me.

Dior x Vogue Dinner, 72nd Cannes Film Festival, France - 15 May 2019

That is allegedly Dior. It LOOKS like Yeezy for Dior.

Gigi Hadid Birthday Party, New York, USA - 22 Apr 2019

There is so much perplexing denim in Fug Madness this year, y’all. So. Much.

Archives: Bella, Twigs

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Bella Hadid (65%, 2,260 Votes)
  • FKA Twigs (35%, 1,214 Votes)

Total Voters: 3,474

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Jules, Jules, Jules. JULES.

NBC 2019/20 Upfront, New York, USA - 13 May 2019

That ensemble honestly makes me speechless. It is something that a person made, and which another person put on, and those two things happening feels like a double lightning strike. You just… can’t fathom it.

2019 iHeartRadio Music Festival And Daytime Stage

I THINK they have antibiotics for whatever that is. Not to be confused with the pest control measures she will need for her closets:

Julianne Hough out and about, Los Angeles, USA - 19 Apr 2019

When I originally posted this, it was to plotz over her bonkers bronzer and makeup:

Julianne Hough Leaving Dinner at Raul`s

But I must know: Is this her bra and underwear under a lace dress, or a lace dress that’s merely designed to LOOK like you are seeing her undercrackers? And which is worse? I’ll tell you one thing: One might be worse, but neither is better.

And, never forget:

2019 Billboard Music Awards

You’re sitting BEHIND A TABLE on that show, Julianne! Sheesh. Sweatpants are clearly the play.

All right, Chrissy, what’cha got?

62nd Annual Grammy Awards, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 26 Jan 2020

Gorgeous color, but that dress went messy on her in a hurry.

Baby2Baby Gala, Arrivals, 3Labs, Los Angeles, USA - 09 Nov 2019

And that’s… fine… but it’s a LOT for Baby2Baby — or it feels that way; that’s a LOT of train — and it seems calculated for the utmost threat of crotch exposure. Chrissy also had a day or two when she let the paps catch her waltzing around New York with Luna, which gave us this perplexing ensemble:

Chrissy Teigen and Daughter Luna Step out in New York

It comes with its own bungee cord, in case you really want to accidentally get hooked to something in the street and then have it turn deadly. And:

Chrissy Teigen Sighting in NYC

That is a dust ruffle with a skirt. Luna, too, seems skeptical.

NBC 2019/20 Upfront, New York, USA - 13 May 2019

You’re selling it, Chrissy, but… come closer… THEY’RE BIKE SHORTS. Let us not pretend otherwise.

Archives: Julianne, Chrissy

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Julianne Hough (88%, 3,054 Votes)
  • Chrissy Teigen (12%, 398 Votes)

Total Voters: 3,452

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So, here, I need to confess something to you. It’s a long story, but on Wednesday AND Thursday, I looked at an old draft of the seedings and messed up and wrote a couple wrong matchups — which I noticed before I published, when I added the cutouts, because those were correct. And one that I wrongly wrote was Julianne Hough vs. Ellie Goulding, and as I was doing it, I was sending messages to Jessica like, “Holy CATS, what were we smoking, this is like Elite Eight level competition.” Turns out it was only I who was hallucinating. Now, if they each win, they meet in Round 2, which is still going to be insane. But maybe Lucy (or Chrissy) can play spoiler. Shall we see what Ms. Boynton has to say about it?

Hollywood Rising Celebration, Arrivals, Sunset Tower Hotel, Los Angeles, USA - 11 Oct 2019

Lucy Boynton likes a lot of fuss in her clothes. And twee-ness. Both those things are her ultimate jam. That is extremely twee. It is soaked in twee. Soaked In Twee could be her autobiography’s eventual title, assuming she doesn’t go with So Much STUFF Everywhere. Check this out:

The Politician Special Screening at the Ham Yard Hotel

That is a lot of STUFF, or more specifically colored lace, happening.

Clash de Cartier launch dinner, Paris, France - 10 Apr 2019

So much STUFF. She looks like a gift bag.

Celebrity Sightings In Los Angeles - September 30, 2019


And of course, there is this stuff: Her chosen lashes.

'The Politician' TV show premiere, Arrivals, New York, USA - Sep 26 2019

Lucy is an absolutely stunning person. LOOK at her eyes. Her face. But half the time when she’s out and about, she’s got spiders flapping all over her face and often imposing eye-makeup around it. I would LOVE for her to simplify before she wakes up one day and finds SOME PIG has been spin across one of her peepers.

Ellie is a very different dresser.

Capital Radio Summertime Ball 2019

But still no less confusing of one.

The Fashion Awards, Arrivals, Royal Albert Hall, London, UK - 02 Dec 2019

This feels like a valiant attempt to distract through jewelry:

Bulgari Serpenti Seduttori Party, Arrivals, Spring Summer 2020, London Fashion Week, UK - 15 Sep 2019

It didn’t work, Ellie. Sorry. Also, I don’t think this is the proper use of HEPA filters:

Our Planet World Premiere at the Natural History Museum

My notes about this one simply said, “SHRIEK,” and it’s earned:

Vanity Fair Cannes Party 2019

And here, please enjoy Ellie with her new husband, Early Hugh Grant, and some cold-shoulder cocktail pajamas:

Celebrities leaving The Roundhouse, Camden, London, UK - 14 Nov 2019

There’s quite a bit more from her, like this which I mistakenly called “a bad jumpshit” in my notes, an EXTREMELY strange stretchy shirt, and something of which I wrote, “Sweetie, even your wings don’t help.”

Archives: Ellie, Lucy

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Ellie Goulding (86%, 2,905 Votes)
  • Lucy Boynton (14%, 477 Votes)

Total Voters: 3,382

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Welcome to 2020, a year in which shirts are becoming an increasingly abstract concept:

Beautycon festival, Los Angeles Convention Center, USA - 10 Aug 2019

Ciara can chip in on this one also:

47th Annual American Music Awards, Arrivals, Microsoft Theater, Los Angeles, USA - 24 Nov 2019

Also in 2020, the world continues to cleave to The Sheers with an iron grip:

Vanity Fair Oscar Party, Arrivals, Fashion Highlights, Los Angeles, USA - 09 Feb 2020

Priyanka will not be left out of this discussion:

Celebrity Sightings In Los Angeles - January 06, 2020

I actually made a strangled noise when I saw that one. I believe that’s a pubis sighting.

And yes, both these contenders have dabbled in more see-through things than just these. Here is Ciara at the CFDAs:

2019 CFDA Fashion Awards

And here is Priyanka, trying to trick you with a tweed suit…

Burn This Opening Arrivals

… in the hopes that you might not notice her ankle raincoats. Psst: We noticed. And we imagined the leg and foot sweat. And it was pooling, Priyanka. IT WAS POOLING.

Otherwise, these two had pretty divergent years. Ciara opted for her usual massive trains hooked to very small things:

23rd Annual Ace Awards, Arrivals, New York, USA - 10 Jun 2019

In that case, the tube top, and in this case… well, also the top:

Dear Mama VH1 Gala

She also went all-in on megashoulders:

Bvlgari x B.Zero1 Rock Collection debut party, Fall Winter 2020, New York Fashion Week, USA - 06 Feb 2020

And on… becoming a motor racer sponsored by Tron?

Harlem Fashion Row

Also, this suit sure has a lot of extra fabric. And of course, there’s a gown at the ESPYs that involves cutouts, because that always happens. Oh, and a huge hip bow. It’s all extremely Ciara of her, which, hey, it’s gotten her this far in her career, and only ever so far in Fug Madness, so maybe she’s doing it right.

Priyanka popped by the Grammys in possibly the worst caftan ever:

GRAMMY Awards Arrivals 2020

Honestly, so much of her clothing does her no justice. She’s STUNNING. So what is she doing in that, and what is she doing in this:

15th Annual UNICEF Snowflake Ball, Arrivals, New York, USA - 03 Dec 2019

I don’t like that it’s cut to make her left side look like it’s sliding southward.

And here is something I jotted down as “banal bridesmaid:”

Amazon Studios 'Gully Boy' CAA Tastemaker film screening, Los Angeles, USA - 14 Oct 2019

Everything about it seems dated. This is also kooksville:

Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra out and about, Paris, France - 24 Jun 2019

She is the jazziest, pizzazziest lady in the retirement village.

Sadly, I couldn’t buy or embed this image, but please click and view it without me telling you what she’s wearing, just to see if you yelp. It’s safe for work, I promise, although what the hell, aren’t we all working from home now? Yell freely at it, at least.

Archives: Priyanka, Ciara

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Priyanka Chopra (48%, 1,596 Votes)
  • Ciara (52%, 1,726 Votes)

Total Voters: 3,322

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