Fug Madness Round One Continues: A Hadid Enters The Ring

First! Did you miss our editable bracket? This link will open it! Next: The photos we show aren’t the ONLY ones in consideration; just a representative sample of everything worn from after the Oscars in 2019, through Feb. 10, 2020. Polls close after roughly 24 hours. Vote on any device, as often as you want to or can. 

Jump to the polls:

(2) Gigi Hadid v. (15) Meghan Trainor ·  (7) Tracee Ellis Ross v. (10) Susan Kelechi Watson  ·  (3) Lottie Moss v. (14) The Jonai  ·  (6) Tessa Thompson v. (11) Noomi Rapace

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(2) Gigi Hadid v. (15) Meghan Trainor

Gigi’s archives, my friends, are VAST AND WIDE. From your standard issue Bra As Top to this dramatic jumpsuit to bustiers that match her skin-tone to an alarming amount, to this, which I originally called: “what a sinus infection would look like if it took sartorial form.”

This very droopy lingerie-inspired situation:

This multi-denim shenanigan, which — I only just noticed!! — also involves a socks/sandals scenario:

This is also SO confusing, I need to diagram it like a sentence:

I don’t even know what some of those pieces of clothing are called!!!

This looks like something exploded on her:

That’s not even addressing those shoes, which are similarly confusing.

Speaking of Wacky Footwear:

LADIES, you’re very perplexing to this old broad! I will NEVER be able to parse this, and thus will just present it to you:

I just…like…is that a tee-shirt-turned shrug over a strapless bra under overalls? I AM TIRED. It almost makes this look reasonable:

Time to turn to America’s biggest fan of the purse/pillow, a women who brought us intriguingly cinched elbows. TWICE:

Meghan REALLY was into cinching things this year. What is happening here?!

And please don’t forget this look, which is probably what singlehandedly landed her here:

From head to toe, it’s an experience. And this Fug Madness has a weirdly high number of people wearing scrunchies-inspired garments, truly. To my knowledge, though, Meghan might be the only person wearing what I can only call a pants-cape:

Take it to the streets (METAPHORICALLY):

(7) Tracee Ellis Ross v. (10) Susan Kelechi Watson

It’s the battle of the three-named TV star! TER is a pleasure and a delight; I wish she were my neighbor, I wish she were my friend. And she has worn some crazy stuff this year! (And lots of good stuff, but that’s a totally different bracket.) (And plenty of crazy-stuff-that-she-looks-surprisingly-good-in, some of which you’ll technically see herein.) Like so:

And thus:

And such:

Verily, indeed, yes, this:

She’s truly lucky she didn’t fall off the stage in that hat, although I guess she IS a professional at these things!

Over to SKW, who is so lovely on This Is Us (and in general) and who had a VERY deep bench of outfits this year, to the point where perhaps she and TER should have had their seedings flipped. (TER actually deserves the higher one because she is more famous, probably, though. Anyway, it’s done now.)

She brought us this:

She brought us that:

She brought us here:

She brought us there:

She truly brought us everywhere:

The time has come

To make your pick

So this little button

you must click:

(3) Lottie Moss v. (14) The Jonai

Y’all, we have been SLEEPING on Lottie Moss. She:

Has:

Worn:

Some:

STUFF:

!!!!!:

Who is she? Great question. She’s Famous in Britain because she’s a model who also happens to be Kate Moss’s half-sister and we’ve been generally ignoring her up until now, but eventually someone builds up the kind of body of work that cannot be ignored, and that’s where we are right now.

Can the combined power of The Jonai compete? These sweet summer children surely did try. And try and try. The issue, of course, is that sometimes some of them look good and one of them has gone wacky, and sometimes one will look great and the other two will let down the side. I trust you to use your best judgement to make the important mental calculations when the time comes to vote.

Even though I don’t always love the results, I truly love how the effort:

Joe is DRAPING HIMSELF IN VELVET — or maybe velour:

Nick wore a LOT of tight suits this year:

(And was also a very helpful spouse during Cannes. I do think the Jonai seem like they’d be nice to be married to, in general. They all seem very supportive and enamoured of their brides.)

Oh, JOE, I don’t know:

Speaking of the Met Gala, I forgot Nick did this with his facial hair. (I guess it IS campy?)

Big finish:

Big vote:

(6) Tessa Thompson v. (11) Noomi Rapace

And, finally, friends! Our last match-up of this round. Earlier this year, I called Tessa Thompson’s looks “glorious and weird,” and I stand by that. (She even looks good in what is essentially one giant blazer.) (She LOVES a Huge Jacket.) (Further proof:

That jacket is big!)

REMEMBER THIS?

Or this, a shirt of terrifying complexity:

Speaking of glamorous and weird:

Many of these looks were for Men in Black, which I forgot happened, and which is actually a great opportunity, thematically, for being Glamorous and Weird:

I actually loved this, from the same press tour, but it’s DEFINITELY bonkers:

What better look to transition into Noomi, who is also Glamorous and Weird? (I think these women could trade wardrobes and it would all work out well.) Please behold the following:

Noomi enjoys a Giant Thing on Her Head. First that hat, then these earrings:

I made a VERY loud sound when I saw this:

And I can describe this no better than Heather did originally: It is a Fu Manchu mustache as a shirt:

And this shirt and that shirt are surely related:

Let’s close out this bracket as it was meant to be closed. With a shirt-as-a-dress and boob eyes:

Time to do your part: