When I was a kid — get ready, this is nerdy — I watched a fair bit of snooker on TV because sometimes BBC2 was all we had and also I love sports of any kind and YES I am counting snooker as a sport and I kind of miss it. Imagine how INTO SNOOKER we could have gotten in the U.S. during the early days of the pandemic. Like when the Winter Olympics comes around and everyone discovers curling as if it’s the first time. We could be snookering the SHIT out of it.
Anyway, one or two of the snooker players at that time wore these funky upside-down looking glasses that so that when they bent down to shoot, their prescriptions covered more of the upper field of vision. And I would sometimes turn my sunglasses upside-down just to see how it felt, because I was fascinated by how weird this looked. But I never thought, “Hot damn, I am going to do this all the time, because I. LOOK. AMAZING.”
These glasses take that concept and combine it with an old Far Side cartoon, and subtract any element of them being professionally useful. And then slaps a price tag north of $700 on them. That’s so much money to look terrible! Guess what! I look terrible right now FOR FREE!!!!
I hope no one buys them. I also hope everyone buys them. I hope Jared Leto lets himself get photographed meandering around Los Angeles in them. I hope Salma Hayek roams the South of France in them. I hope Lana Del Rey writes a really ethereally sad song in them called “My Soul is Frowning.” If 2020 is going to launch a neverending barrage of ratf*ckery at us, then my GOD, the least it and 2021 can do is let us laugh at Kendall Jenner in sadface specs.
