Obviously, Brie Larson was never going to go full Halsey and cinch her cleavage, but if you were hoping to hang a “1” tile on our “This Site Has Officially Gone ____ Days Without Unusual Belting” sign, you are obviously very sad right now. At least this Carven dress is not as crackers as Halsey’s ensemble. It’s even cute, if way more appropriate for May. But I do wonder if all that hardware makes it heavy. It seems to be pushing down on her chest a bit, no? I don’t know if a better bra (or any bra) would have solved that, or what, but something about this is taking her shape away. It’s my only qualm.
The other night, she picked a Derek Lam evening gown:
This silhouette is not so different from the Ralph & Russo she wore the other day. This dress makes me suspect that Brie is using gravity as her underwire lately, and I feel like both outfits would have hung better if she’d been afforded a chance to rest her teacups in a saucer, you know? This is pretty, but something about this makes her look like her boobs live at her waist already, but she’s only 27. She should have a little more time before she has to think about that fraternization. Isn’t this why God invented those weird stick-em chicken cutlets?
Oh, and also:
I would never deny you Samuel L. and Loki. Get that motherf*ing Kong off my motherf*cking island, right, y’all? Right.