Fug Madness 2019: Can Kat Graham Make a Run at This?

Did you miss yesterday’s matchups? Sneak in while you still can. Here is the bracket, if you need one. The photos we show aren’t the ONLY ones in consideration; just a representative sample of everything worn from after the Oscars in 2018, all the way through the Oscars that just finished (so, March 6, 2018, to Feb 26, 2019). Polls close after roughly 24 hours. Vote on any device, as often as you want to or can. Do you need a refresher on how this works? The Fug Madness FAQ is here for you.

PSA: Click on the link where applicable to hop to that match. Herein:(2) Kat Graham vs. (15) January Jones · (7) Ashley Graham vs. (10) Angela Bassett · (3) Lady Gaga vs. (14) KiKi Layne · (6) Halsey vs. (11) Ellie Goulding(2) KAT GRAHAM vs. (15) JANUARY JONES

Kat did not have a great year. I mean, PERSONALLY, she may have had a delightful time, but sartorially speaking it was a jumble — aptly illustrated by her Oscars dress:

Her fug was many-flavored, as it turns out. I am honestly not sure what this is:

Are those… three separate pieces? Or is that a jumpsuit with a turtleneck layered under it? Or is it somehow all one thing? All I know is, it feels like something off a Star Trek series.

Dior also called, and she picked up the phone:

She should not have. At least, not for that.

I am not… totally sure if this was a Cher Horowitz situation, or what, but it definitely wasn’t Halloween.

Speaking of costumes:

Is this from an alternate Anne of Green Gables in which Gilbert dies in Anne of Avonlea, and Anne falls into some sexy grieving?

WHAT WOULD MARILLA SAY?!?

Ahem. January Jones’s resume is not as stuffed this year, though there was this:

I… appreciate the shoe attempt?

Coach also called, and she picked up the phone:

She should not have. At least, not for that.

And I don’t know WHY THAT EXISTS but it needs to leave her alone. However, admittedly that is the linchpin of her campaign this year; is that enough to topple Kat’s arsenal?

Archives: Kat Graham, January Jones

(7) ASHLEY GRAHAM vs. (10) ANGELA BASSETT

And now, the OTHER Graham will see some action: Ms. Ashley is taking on Dame Angela Bassett (yes, I have arbitratily assigned that; she is a Dame of the Realm Fug Nation). Angela had a really big year, with 911 and the Mission Impossible movie, and Black Panther, and whatnot. And she brought out some surprises along the way:

It’s a PRETTY sheer jumpsuit, but… it’s also a pretty sheer jumpsuit. I didn’t see it coming, Ang. I surely did not. And it wasn’t the only sheer item she deployed in service of MI: Fallout.

The whole theme of the Meredith Grey voice over on last week’s Grey’s Anatomy was, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should,” and that is very much how I feel here.

Angela also danced with a lot of visible undergarments this year. Well, specifically ONE visible undergarment:

That furry suit is competing every inch of the way with her giant black corset, and a simple blouse — or a cami and then actually WEARING the jacket — would’ve been so much better. But Angela obviously really digs that piece of lingerie because I could swear it’s the exact same one she let hang out with this otherwise snazzy suit.

This looked like a craft project:

I was underwhelmed by the color, too. I liked this red on her, but y’all were NOT into the tiny little thread holding the poncho part on her. This Grammy party ensemble was just bizarre — it’s basically caped leggings?!? And Team Bassett also had a rare fit misfire with her pink Oscars gown, and then followed it with a weird black pantsuit situation that rains sparkles in an arrow pointing right at her genitals.

Oh, and SURPRISE, another bra.

Ashley Graham never shies away from sheers, although here, at least she deployed them on her arms:

HIDEOUSLY, though. And at the Oscars ceremony, she had a personal best in a stunning fitted black gown, which made following that up with this even more of a bummer:

So many unnecessary choices were made with this garment, ending with Ashley opting to don it.

Pants were a rough spot for her elsewhere, too. These plastic ones, with a bad blouse pairing, were vexing. As was this:

She also wore an unflattering, plasticky-looking ensemble to the Met Gala post-parties, and a formal gown that had, essentially, horned boobs.

Back to the sheers, though — and, pun intended:

This garment was perplexing from the front, and a wedgie-in-training in the back.

This next outfit appeared on GFY in a post headlined, “This Outfit Will Totally Be Part of Ashley Graham’s Next Fug Madness Run.”

I love it when a plan comes together.

Archives: Ashley Graham, Angela Bassett

(3) LADY GAGA vs. (14) KIKI LAYNE

First, If Beale Street Could Talk was a lyrical, beautiful poem of a movie, and I’m terribly sad it didn’t get the Oscar nods it was due. (Having said that, as much as I adore Regina King, that role does not stack up to what Rachel Weisz or Emma Stone did in The Favourite, although it WAS a true supporting role and they were arguably actually leads, so… life is hard.) KiKi brought such a gentle warm energy to it, and she’s obviously had a lot of crazy-experimental fun with her wardrobe in her first trip out of the gate.

However:

Piracy is a tough life, KiKi. Stick with acting.

She certainly didn’t shy away from color, as evidenced by this skirt she wore in Sundance, although the outfit itself wasn’t that successful for me. She also wore some watercolor-like Face Pants with a MASSIVE logo turtleneck and a multicolored Chanel that followed Karl’s brief penchant for looking like he added table runners to all his bodices at the last minute. And while I didn’t LIKE the brown and yellow colors of this outfit, she did at least deploy them.

All of which made her Globes dress so much MORE upsetting.

She is so lovely, and could give so much oomph to so much. But that bodice would defeat anyone. It’s so bad. WHY IS THIS BODICE HAPPENING.

She changed for the post-parties, which was a welcome IDEA, but not the most delightful result:

This is the Stanford tree mascot, but FASHION. (A turn of phrase that’s already overused but yet also still amuses me., and also is very apt here.) And if we’re going to talk all-caps FASHION MOMENTS, KiKi got invited to the LACMA + Gucci event, and was handed one of that line’s typically overwrought ensembles:

The lady tried, but what could ANYONE do with that? Imagine it with all the pink stuff clipped off and it’s a reasonable scenario. But with all that, it somehow looks like each arm has 5 sleeves, as if all the lengths are attached and you can just rotate in the one you want.

And, in a fun twist, KiKi is also wearing an outfit that you’ll also have seen on Rowan Blanchard by now:

As of yesterday afternoon it looked like Rowan wouldn’t be taking it into round two with her. Will KiKi? Lady Gaga stands in the way, and I don’t know if you’ve heard, but she’s far from the shallow now.

I mean, that is advanced nonsense. That is AP Batshittery, and she is going to get a 5 on her exam. I actually wish she’d uncorked stuff like this, and that insane modular veil from TIFF, during the awards circuit. We got such a watered-down Gaga there instead — well, I mean, these sleeve puffs the size of ottomans are not SUBTLE, nor was the train, but the rest of them started to feel like her heart wasn’t in it. I mean, how dullsville was this beige number? Her self-tanner put more oomph into it. This mourning sack was also not a very celebratory hour, and that was BEFORE she started losing the major acting awards, so why was she already grieving? Even the glittery Celine she wore to the Grammys, which I believe was custom, ripped off a bodice concept that Givenchy had been doing — and made it look like her sleeve was sewn to her side.

She did bust out this Alaia that’s more Classic Gaga:

It’s way too tight on her chest regardless, but the sheer aspect of it makes ridiculous what could have been really pretty. Also, I know her team had its hands full with wrangling her hair, between this circuit and her Vegas shows, but that’s why they’re professionals. And they totally let her down. She looked overchlorinated the whole time.

Also, because of the attention that the Star Is Born juggernaut got, you might have forgotten that Lady Gaga did not withhold Classic Gaga entirely this year.

Oh yes. It was real, and it was Gagatacular. She also further leaned into her favorite death-defying footwear — these are a nightmare — and sampled the sheer shoe trend. Look, she even dressed up as a throw-pillow:

AND wore a riding hat. And looked like blonde Cher! And toddled around New York in a headscarf, a leather bodice, and a totally see-through lace skirt!

This was from Venice, and it was AWFUL:

Again, look at her legs, because her self-tanner situation was OUT OF CONTROL at this point. And then go back up to what the top of this should-be-simple tank dress is doing to her chest. And THEN remind yourself of the time those same boobs nearly spilled out of a tiny animal-print outfit. Then behold her second effort:

HOW did they not cast her in Cats? She’s practically asking!

Archives: Lady Gaga, KiKi Layne

(6) HALSEY vs. (11) ELLIE GOULDING

Ellie Goulding usually hangs out in the double-digits during Fug Madness, if I’m remembering correctly, and I always end up second-guessing it because of one especially ghastly thing. This year, that thing is…

… just a real honest-to-god shitshow, if I’m being frank. It stood out even more because it came relatively close to this, from the British Fashion Awards, if you can believe it:

That looks as comfortable as wearing someone else’s plaster body cast.

But there wasn’t a TON else from her this year; her ranking is weighted heavily on those two. She did go in for a lot of bland or ill-fitting stuff this year, including this peachy fringed satin number, and another white entry:

None of that does a damn thing for her, and neither does this:

At least she looks comfortable, and it doesn’t have the words ALEXANDER WANG stamped all over the legs, as was the case here.

You know who else is bad at pants? Halsey.

This zipper, based on this and the back view, appears to wrap all the way around her crotch and back up to the waistband. That is not how pants work. That is not how urinating works. THAT IS NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS.

And, not to be left out, Halsey ALSO wore a really terrible see-through white number:

She also deployed one that was dripping in… beads, or chains, or whatever? She then apparently thought better of it and presented a Latin Grammy in this jumpsuit:

It counts because it wasn’t performance-wear; it was JUST a needless and strange costume change. Also, the sheer number of hair changes from Halsey in the course of this year will blow your mind. Just recently at the Oscars, she had a not-great hot pink ‘do that gave her tartan gown an overall very sloppy vibe. And here’s another one:

That is all dismal. Including the lighting, if we’re being honest — and we are — but I don’t think any amount of illumination would have sold this.

Halsey also went to the Victoria’s Secret show, where she walked the red carpet in the same outfit she sang in, which makes that fair game as well. It’s as bad as you might imagine. Then there was a denim diaper at the airport — the photographers captioned her by her full name, Ashley Nicole Frangipane, as if HALSEY wouldn’t wear that but ASHLEY FRANGIPANE might? — and you also definitely need to click on this link and scroll down to the first Getty Embed to see what she wore to a Glamour summit. It is vintage Dior and it is DUMB.

WHY, HALSEY.

Oh, but I would like my star chart done, if you’re not busy.

Archives: Halsey, Ellie Goulding