This relationship was short-lived enough that neither of our photo services had ANY other shots of them together — but the one they had was from the premiere of Moonstruck, and was the only interesting offering from that event that our services had. I wonder what they had in common. Two sets of noteworthy eyebrows and two noteworthy coiffures, and… they both wore dark clothes (there was a color picture but it was boring), and are… roughly the same height… What do we think they talked about? Did Nic Cage sit up and night and whisper sweet nothings about the day he would finally make a treasure-hunting movie involving the Declaration of Independence? I wonder if Brooke Shields ever sifts through Nicolas Cage’s Wikipedia page and is like, “He bought a castle? He bought an ISLAND? And another castle? And now he’s broke? He named his son after Superman? He just had a three-month marriage? Dog the Bounty Hunter once bailed him out of jail?!? … Yeah, you know what, that tracks. That ALL tracks.”

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