Sometimes when I say, “what is this?” I mean it hyperbolically. Like the way you’d say, “I ate one million Doritos and now I don’t really so good,” or “if the Dodgers lose this game, I’m going to throw myself under a bus.” Really, I’d only had 100 Doritos and the plan was to languidly place myself beneath the wheels — no throwing necessary. But now, I am truly and sincerely asking: What IS this? LITERALLY what does this outfit CONSIST of? TELL ME THE PARTS.

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