I’m batting cleanup on Cannes a little, and couldn’t let this Gwen Stefani outfit pass without judgment.

It is Armani Prive, and although it’s very striking, I keep hoping, say, Victoria Beckham will show up in the exact same dress and then the two of them will have extreme tantrums for about an hour including commercial breaks. Of course, since V.Becks is pregnant, that shoots to hell the story where she loses her virginity in a hotel room shortly thereafter. I am pretty sure it was not an immaculate conception, because have you SEEN her husband?

Anyway, back to Gwen. Aside from the echoes of 90210 glory, and maybe even slightly because of, I rather like this on her. I appreciate that it’s got a twist to it but manages still to be less busy than some of what she likes to do — before Cannes, it had been a while since she showed up wearing gowns, and it’s interesting to see how she’s metamorphosed since her last mega media blitz. The back is also lovely in its simplicity:

But we have got to talk about her makeup.

HONEY. That adds ten years to your face. Let me be clear: The one arena in which you do NOT want to best Christina Aguilera is the Makeup Thunderdome.