In which we take the general concept of Speed (bomb-related shenanigans ensue on a large moving piece of  transportation) and apply it to….a boat. This paragraph from its truly entertaining Wiki really says it all:

The acting, story, and characters attracted the most criticism, as well as its setting on a slow-moving cruise ship, citing it as less thrilling than that of Speed on a fast-moving bus. Eminent critic Roger Ebert, though, prominently stood in defense of the film, calling it a “truly rousing ocean liner adventure story” only weakened by Bullock’s acting. The film was also a box-office bomb, earning $164 million worldwide against a production budget as high as $160 million. It was nominated for eight Golden Raspberry Awards, winning the Worst Remake or Sequel category.

Sometimes you should leave stuff alone! (I guess we should be happy they didn’t do that idea with the plane?) I also cannot resist sharing this bit:

For the climactic scene when the ship crashes into an island, De Bont wanted to create and destroy an actual town….A $5 million, 35-building set was constructed in Marigot, Saint Martin based on the town’s local architecture, which temporarily housed production offices. Despite De Bont’s reason for choosing Saint Martin for filming, a hurricane struck the town and destroyed the set during construction. It had to be rebuilt with hurricane-proof buildings.

I just keep imagining being the producers back in Los Angeles:

“Jan wants to build a town and then blow it up.”

“Fine.”

Time passes.

“The town Jan built got destroyed.”

“Right, he said wanted to do that.”

“NO, by a hurricane.”

“Ugh. Now what?”

“Well, I guess he’s building another one!”

And scene.

[Photos: Shutterstock, Dave Lewis/Shutterstock, Darlene Hammond/Archive Photos/Getty Images, Crollalanza/Shutterstock, SGranitz/WireImage, Ron Galella, Ltd./Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images]

 

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