Oh, Jessica. We had some good times, didn’t we? Like back when you wore a see-through jumpsuit based on an old-timey nightgown? Or that time someone wanted us all to think you were dating Tom Cruise, and you showed up at the Oscars looking like you had just performed an elaborate Tarot-based purging ritual? Or when you were a walking wedding tablescape? Do you miss those days? Is that it? Have you felt a deep yearning to rekindle your love affair with the way the tepid summer night air in Hollywood drifts across your abs? Did you miss the cosy confines of your spot in a Fug Madness bracket, sandwiched between two other names? Well, hey, it’s the summer doldrums. If you want to wage a heated campaign in the next two weeks, please, be our absolute guest.

[Photo: Backgrid]