She’s back! I was literally just writing a post about the clothes I think Kate ought to cherry-pick from the NYFW collections this week — spoiler: not many; Fashion Week felt sort of underwhelming this season — and bemoaning that she ought to wear more patterns. Did I make this happen?  Is my Hogwarts letter just EXTREMELY DELAYED? (That post is coming up for you later; I am, in fact, waiting for Ralph Lauren to walk this morning so I can finish it.)

Let’s discuss. My feelings are: I like the dress, but I’m never that jazzed when she gets fed up at home after a glass and a half of pinot grigio and decides she needs a fringe, cuts it herself with nail scissors, and then realizes she’s made a terrible mistake and goes to her hairdresser to fix it. (I assume that’s what happened, anyway. Hasn’t a wine-fueled, “I think I’m gonna get BANGS, YOU GUYS” happened to us all?) I like bangs conceptually — I have had bangs! — and I have witnessed many a great bang. (Tee hee.) I’m just not sure that THESE bangs are that great; listen, I just basically like it better when I can see more of her face. I’ve decided Kate is a person who gets bangs, promptly hates her bangs, grows out the bangs, and then gets bored again and decides to see if it’ll be different next time. IT NEVER IS, KATE. IT NEVER IS.

(PS: I’d be remiss on this post if I didn’t remind you that The Royal We is only $3.99 right now for Kindle, but only until the end of the month, so do not tarry. I am pretty sure there is a discussion of Break-Up Bangs therein, which is obviously a whole different category of bangs than the I’m Bored Bangs. How many more times can I write “bangs” before it means NOTHING? BANGS.)