You may have read or watched the interview that came out with Harry yesterday, wherein he notes that he wants to settle down and have babies (and have someone to go on these trips with) and I am sure I am not the first person who’s had this reaction even in the last twenty minutes but: I VOLUNTEER. Although we haven’t got any time to waste, and also he’s going to have to be okay with my taking notes the whole time for future, theoretical books. Which I suspect I will have to write under a pseudonym to avoid Awkward Family Fights at Christmas. God. Even this fantasy is too complicated. Never mind. (OR AM I JUST TRYING TO THROW YOU OFF THE SCENT? Keep an eye out for Heather’s new writing partner Jessamyn Flagon, making a mysterious appearance on the scene in late 2017, is what I am saying.) In other news, this entire tour is just him being charming with children and, like, cradling amphibians. It’s really playing to his strengths.

[Photos: Getty]