Penelope Cruz is promoting another new film, Competencia Oficial, which I kept confusing with Parallel Mothers — the latter being the one for which she’s Oscar-nominated, and the former being the other one she was promoting in Venice (seriously, it debuted three days after Parallel Mothers opened the festival). Anyway, Penelope was once a devoted wearer of lots of things, among them Versace. (I wonder if that well is slightly poisoned after she played Donatella in The Assassination of Gianni Versace, although it’s not like that portrayal was disrespectful. It wasn’t ADEPT, particularly, but neither was it RUDE.) But since she signed with Chanel, she’s been deeply loyal, often to her detriment. I find this little suit kind of silly, and dated, and unstylish. I cannot imagine this kind of work making Chanel a buzzy brand; at this point its contracts honestly feel more like hostage situations to me.

She did at least kick up the quirk with this choice, complete with fake bangs:

'Official Competition' film premiere, Madrid, Spain - 21 Feb 2022

THIS woman shows up at your high-school reunion and gently presses a crystal into your palm, tells you something searingly insightful about yourself, and has you wondering if you should go buy up the contents of her store in Sedona. Only later will you realize you were hypnotized by the way her dress made your eyes cross.

[Photos: Belen Diaz/DYDPPA/Shutterstock, Shutterstock]