I really, really like Alison Brie. I don’t watch Community — I know — but I adore her on Mad Men and she was easily the best thing about Scream 4. Although Hayden Pantywaist was surprisingly capable in that movie, and of course I always enjoy Courteney Cox, primarily because she plays Gale Weathers like Monica Geller on crystal meth. But Brie stole the show.

So what I’m saying is, girlfriend deserves better than this. I want better than this for her. ALISON, TOGETHER WE CAN DO BETTER. And we’re starting with the shirt. No, the shoes. Maybe the shorts. Can we just…start over?