“I’m so honored to be presenting this award tonight to Matt Damon. As you know, we starred together in The Martian, which… I mean, I guess Matt was mostly on Mars that whole time, but we had meaningful connections, like in that scene where… well, of course I can’t quite recall the particulars in this exact moment, or whether we were on set at the same time, or even spoke? Matthew, can you? No? That’s okay. As Prince once said in a story you told me, or I guess that I read on the Internet: It lives in our own hearts, Matt Damon. Have I talked for long enough that no one’s gonna mention my crotch? Okay. Peace out and take this so I can go put on some jeans.”
[Photo: Getty]
