“Hello. Yes. I know. I’m in another Adam Sandler movie. You’d think Just Go With It would’ve been enough, but no; turns out Adam Sandler still makes Adam Sandler movies, and he still needs ladies in them to play his thinly sketched love interests. I sent this one to my agent with a note that said, ‘My character’s main traits are “hairdresser” and “mystery novel enthusiast” and “Adam Sandler’s wife.” YOU’RE WELCOME! WE WILL ALL ENJOY THIS CHECK!’ And it’s true. But I think shooting this must have sent me into some kind of indifferent or fugue state, because I’m going through the fashion motions here, right? This dress is the kind of thing that I’d have tailored better in the past, but now, eh, whatever, who cares. And my tan would have been meticulous instead of patchy on the knees and feet and ankles, but meh, I’m here, I did the thing.

“And you know what? I still didn’t half-ass it as much as Adam:

'Murder Mystery' film premiere, Arrivals, Regency Village Theatre, Los Angeles, USA - 10 Jun 2019

“I MEAN. Right?”

[Photos: Rex/Shutterstock]