Let’s pitch a TV show about this dress. I’m going with: Janelle plays a 70s/80s lounge singer somewhat inspired by Diahann Carroll, who performs on cruise ships for people who brought their dead spouses and will be throwing them overboard ceremonially. Lee Daniels will produce, so it’ll have a massive music budget. It’s called The Death Barge, it runs with Love Boat reruns, and Nat from The Peach Pit — the estimable Joe E. Tata — plays the minister performing the final blessing. I think it’s going to do really, really expensively mediocre business. Especially when it crosses over with Empire and Cookie Lyon gets to hurl Lucious into the sea. He might not even be dead yet when she does it. Escandelo!
[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty]