Halle Berry has been rather into the slinky see-through stuff lately. I can hear the chorus of, “And wouldn’t YOU BE,” and the answer is, I have no idea, because I am never going to have her body. I guess maybe I’d do slinky, but as for the rest of it, I like to think I’d want to preserve my mystery a little bit. Like, if Lost had given it all up in the first ten episodes, would you have hung on for six seasons with so many questions and IM conversations and message-board-postings and two-hour dinners wherein you attempt to explain the finer points of the show to somebody who’s never seen an episode, before throwing up your hands and screaming, “IT’S NOT POSSIBLE”? Probably not, right? 

Although I will give Halle that, unlike Lost, the non-mysteries of her body are much more likely to satisfy all and sundry without much debate:
swarovski elements 200910

[Photo: WENN.com]

I can’t say the same for the dress. It looks like giant trivets on her hips and Mr. Potato Head’s Angry Eyebrows over her boobs. Las Vegas just laid odds on Venus Williams wearing this to play tennis at 3-1 — something I can see almost as clearly as Halle’s nipples.