Fugsten Bell/Fug or Fab, Rachel Bilson

KRISTEN: Hi there, Rachel.

RACHEL: Kristen? What are you doing here?

KRISTEN: I’m on Gossip Girl. I AM Gossip Girl.

RACHEL: Oh, that’s RIGHT. Man, I forgot. You’re the one who reads all the punny voice-over in a way that makes it sound like you hate all of them.

KRISTEN: Yeah, it’s… yeah.

RACHEL: And weren’t you also in Burlesque?

KRISTEN: I don’t want to talk about it.

RACHEL: Are you feeling unhappy with your choices, Kristen? Are you feeling like you’re in some sort of career prison of your own making, and you’re dying to bust free?

KRISTEN: What makes you say that?

RACHEL: Your torso.

KRISTEN: Well, THAT is presumptuous of you. Maybe I’m just a huge fan of vertical blinds, and maybe the statement I’m making is that my nipples wear eye-patches because I’m really into pirating right now. You don’t know.

RACHEL: I’m… sorry? Maybe Josh Schwartz will let you do an actual face cameo on my new CW show.

KRISTEN: The one where you’re basically in Doc Hollywood, but as a lady?

RACHEL: Yep.

KRISTEN: Is that why you might be dressed kind of like a junior Rose Nyland?

RACHEL: Yep again. Got a problem with it?

KRISTEN: Child, I am wearing something that makes the term “rib cage” twice as literal. You think I stand for St. Olaf slacks-and-florals tomfoolery?

RACHEL: Okay, but my show has that dude who played Jason Street on Friday Night Lights, so…

KRISTEN: … Yeah, so I might have to watch now.

RACHEL: I know.

KRISTEN: Where did you get those slacks again?

RACHEL: I’ll never tell.