It is a mark of what today has been like that my browser crashed three times and lost a variety of chunks of this entry and I kept having to redo it. Sigh. THANK THE SWEET LORD OF SANDWICHES IT’S FRIDAY. While your own browser continues to work, please read the following:

– The one-piece Norwegian sweatsuit is the new Slanket. The difference being that I might wear one of these. NO, NOT IN PUBLIC. (Fashionista)

– I literally laughed until I cried reading this Web site, solely devoted to amusing iPhone auto corrects. It’s happened to all of us. Today, in fact, Heather texted me, “What a vinegars,” when she meant, “what a bonehead.” What a vinegars, indeed. (Damn You, Auto Correct!)

– I might get more work done if my desk were made of rusting Soviet mines. No, that exists. I did not just make it up. In fact, this article presents several wacky desks, including one that looks as though it has a dollhouse soldered to it, which belongs to a member of the royal family. (Flavorwire)

– Now that Sandra Lee — or, as my friend Grant and I call her, Aunt Sandy — is the official First Girlfriend of the State of New York, do we all have a variety of gubernatorially-themed tablescapes in our future? The New York Observer hopes so! (The Observer)

Have you seen Dudley Dursey lately? Because he looks great. I feel sorry for Dudley that he never got to go to Hogwarts, though. (The Telegraph)

– Not looking so great; The New York Times investigated a DISTURBING new trend. NOT BATHING. Okay. You guys. Come on. Please take a shower. Always err on the side not smelling, is my rule. That’s one of my TOP rules, in fact, after, like, “don’t catch on fire,’ and “try not to murder anyone.” (NY Times)

– So, Bergdorf’s is having a contest this year focusing on their (AMAZING) holiday windows, which is a great excuse to oogle photos of past windows. Which are, essentially, INSANELY FABULOUS. (Bergdrof Goodman)

– In completely other news, this porn version of The X-Files looks LEGITIMATELY BETTER than the last official X-Files movie. Okay, Scully’s real hair is better than the porn star’s wig. But otherwise: legit better. Don’t worry, this post is 100% safe for work. (LAist)

– Apparently, Jennifer Love Hewitt is pitching The Client List as a series. PLEASE GOD LET THIS HAPPEN. (EW Popwatch)

Jessica Alba says that good actors never use their scripts and just make up the words. Last time someone said something similar to this, it was Joey Tribbiani and the writers of Days of Our Lives threw Dr Drake Ramoray down an elevator shaft. I’m just saying. (Celebitchy)

Joan Collins claims she shops at Target, which I believe because everyone goes to Target once in a while. Dear God, please let me run into Alexis Carrington at Target. Although I might have a stroke right there in the Xhileration aisle. (Dlisted)

Lainey claims that Blake Lively may play Daisy Buchanan in Baz Lurhmann’s adaptation of The Great Gatsby. To which I say, OMG PLEASE NO ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT CASTING IS TERRIBLE. I mean, look; I like Blake, I think Blake is pretty, and I hear she’s decent in The Town but OH HONEY I DON’T THINK SO. And with that, to borrow from Seacrest: English Major Specializing in 20th Century American Novels OUT. (Lainey Gossip)