Happy Harry Potter Day! Bide your time waiting for the weekend to really commence with the following:

Popeater has compiled some of the best Harry Potter parody videos, including my favorite, Potter Puppet Pals: The Mysterious Ticking Noise. (PopEater)

– Meanwhile, MTV is focused on getting the HP actors to master American accents. You haven’t lived until you’ve heard them all intone, “THE OLIVE GARDEN.” Tom Felton’s American accent, btw, is SUPER twangy. (MTV)

– Now that Prince William’s been snapped up, who are the rest of the world’s most eligible bachelors? Glo investigates. Dibs on the Crown Prince of Sweden! Although I am also fond of tennis star James Blake. Decisions, decisions. (Glo)

– Speaking of the Royal Engagement, Hamish Bowles has a fantastic piece about the history of such, including a slide show with a picture of Princess Anne’s wedding that looks like it fell out of the inside of a Danielle Steele novel. (Vogue.com)

– Rounding out Royal Engagement coverage for the day: Lainey speculates on wedding dates and locations for Wills and Kate. See you all outside Westminster Abbey! I’ll bring the hats, you bring the noisemakers. (Lainey Gossip)

– In news that could not be less related: Angelina from Jersey Shore has a single out and it is literally the worst song I have ever heard in my entire life. It makes “Tardy to the Party” sound like the Hallelujah Chorus. (Refinery29)

– Planning your Thanksgiving menu this weekend? Maybe DON’T include some of these. Bacon Pumpkin Pie, anyone? (Flavorwire)

– This compilation of the world’s most awkward public kisses is cracking me up. The opener is a kick. (Life.com)

– Speaking of awkward, this video about the heartbreak of awkward handshakes in the Minnesota Timberwolves organization is quite hilarious, even if you don’t care about sports. Good old Kevin Love — I forgive you for ABANDONING our alma mater to go make a kajillion dollars in the NBA. (NBA.com)

– Joan Collins has advice for women: (a) “Wear lots of makeup and big hair” and (b) “Beware of men.” (Elle.com)

– Speaking of big hair, ALLEGEDLY, Giselle is making Tom Brady get HAIR TRANSPLANTS. Honestly, I could kind of believe this. She is really overly invested in that dude’s mane. He wears a HELMET FOR WORK, LADY. YOU are the model. IT’S ALL GOING TO BE OKAY IF HE CUTS IT. HE IS NOT SAMPSON. (Celebitchy)

– If you do nothing else this afternoon, you HAVE to watch 23 Seasons of the Bold and the Beautiful in 7 Minutes. My favorite part is, “Ridge falls in a kiln and dies.” (He’s not really dead!) (Vulture)