Let me direct you to the words of others, in hopes that you can procrastinate for a wee bit until it’s time to really go home for the weekend!

– This, on Vulture, is great. Let me just share the lede: “For the latest edition of ‘Life in Pictures,’ photographer Henry Leutwyler followed [Wendy Whelan], the 47-year-old former New York City Ballet principal dancer, on October 18 after her farewell performance at Lincoln Center.”

– File this under THE BEST: Women Rejecting Marriage Proposals in Western Art History. It is peerlessly funny. (The Toast)

– This is a FASCINATING piece from The New York Times, about how Jessica Chastain is contractually prohibited from doing much PR for one of her movies — out this next month — in favor of doing it for Interstellar.

– Because he’s CLASSY AS HELL, Bendywinks Cumbervixen announced his engagement in the London Times next to the obits and births. (BBC)

– From The Cut: The 6 Weirdest Oprah’s Favorite Things.

This week would have marked Vivien Leigh’s 101st birthday. Marie Claire tells her life story in pictures.

– The Guardian ranks the 10 Best Female Power Dressers.

– Spoiler: Umami’s Pumpkin Spice Latte Burger is DISGUSTING, “like a strangely savory meat-flavored cupcake.”(Grub Street)

The Greatest Sandwiches in MOVIE HISTORY! (Slate)

You probably want to eyeball Alexander Skarsgard, right? Right. (Lainey Gossip)

– This is a hoot, from Mental Floss: 50 Old British Dialect Words to Incorporate into Conversation. Personally, I really like “crumpsy.” As is, “you’re terribly crumpsy again today, Mr. Darcy.” Also, I’ve just realized that my apartment is completely shackbaggerly and if I don’t get to titty-toiting, it’s only going to get worse.

– Look at these AMAZING VINTAGE HOTEL INTERIORS! The one with the pool in the lobby! (Curbed)

– This is right up your street, from Entertainment Weekly: Harry Potter’s Hogwarts Alums: Ranking Achievements Three Years Later

– Also at EW, the Mean Girls reunion where Lindsay’s skirt is SO SHORT you can tell that Tina is just biting the inside of her cheek not to turn to her and say, “TOO MUCH CROTCH.” (That said, the interviews are really good; Lilo is kind of funny in hers. COME BACK TO US LINDSAY. [I guess I still love her, you guys.])

– This is very amusing, from The Hairpin: The Worst Time Kris Jenner Taught Me To Make Pumpkin Bread

– Allegedly the world’s catchiest song is…. well, I don’t want to spoil it. (The Science of Us)

Angie Harmon and Jason Sehorn are getting a divorce! I admit that this surprised me. I don’t know why. (Celebitchy)