You guys, this show saves SO MUCH WARDROBE MONEY by setting entire episodes on one single day. But I promise you are going to enjoy the birthday headpiece SMG wears at the end — she starts slow, in heavy layers and sweaters, and then we get some twin-on-twin backstory, and then finally some piracy. No really. Hang in there with me.

And if you’re wondering what is actually happening on this show, spoilers are afoot in this paragraph: This week, Rich Twin’s best friend found out from FBI Agent Richard Alpert that there IS a twin (nobody knew), and THEN she lurked at exactly the right doorway and found out that Rich Twin and her husband have been banging and that Rich Twin’s baby might be his — but of course Poor Twin, who is virtuous, wants no part of their affair. At the end of the hour, when Best Friend was seething at her, Poor Twin confessed she is Poor Twin and Best Friend looked shocked. The promo made it sound like Best Friend is going to expose Poor Twin, but my prediction? Best Friend thinks she’s lying to save face and threatens to expose Rich Twin’s infidelity. And I have GOT to start using names, but… eh.

One thing this show does to hilarious effect is fake-outs, but I can’t tell if they KNOW that they’re hilarious. Case in point: The first episode ended with Poor Twin killing a dude who attacked her. The next episode began with her hiding the body under a tarp where it happened — in this loft that her best friend is renovating for her — and then the best friend walks in and goes, “OH MY GOOOOOD.” Cut to commercial. When we come back, Best Friend says, “Oh my GOOOD, I TOLD THE CONTRACTORS NOT TO BREAK DOWN THAT WALL!!!” I mean, that is some funny right there. They also do it mid-episode — the time Poor Twin thought her husband had been the one arranging the hit, he had sent her to a dark alley, where either end suddenly was blocked by Dangerous-Looking People, and then suddenly a door burst open and it was Best Friend luring her into some warehouse full of couture. (The connective tissue here is Best Friend, so I’ve decided she is nefarious.) They did it AGAIN this time, sort of: The whole ep was set at Rich Twin’s house in the Hamptons, and there were THREE DIFFERENT SCENES where a) SMG heard a noise, b) SMG crept toward the noise, c) SMG armed herself for some hellacious trouble, and d) SMG discovered it was someone she knew in the house. LOCK YOUR DOORS, people.