This week we only had four changes — things are diminishing by about half each time, from 15 to 8 to 4 –bringing our Poor Little Stitch Girl Costume Count to 26. Sounds like perhaps the budget is catching up with more people besides Jane Quimby.

Plotwise, Jane’s deadbeat brother got the job at the school with the ex-classmate zzzzzzzz.¬†Jane and her archrival Lulu find out they’re tied for top of the class and so Every. Test. COUNTS. Would a school principal really tell people that they’re in a race for valedictorian? The guidance counselor is all NO IGNORE HIM but the girls pretend they’re not shitting bricks and then Lulu hisses to Jane that it’s ON. Except she has private pain, because every mean girl does: Lulu is all sad because daddy pressures her about her grades and Duckie dumped her because she wouldn’t go public with him. So she decides not to be ashamed of slurping his face anymore, and they make out in the hallway. Duckie realizes now he has to tell Jane that he’s banging a girl she hates. Speaking of banging, Blane is nowhere to be found; Jane references it briefly but basically they just didn’t want to pay the actor to pop up in this episode. Speaking of actual banging, Andie is nailing some hot male model. She goes out of town and hands Jane a list of things to do, and on it is breaking up with the sad clown. Jane does. He is sad. Andie is also¬†having some important trunk show at her apartment, but she’s not going to be there, of course, AS IF, so Jane has to run it, OF COURSE, AS IF. And Jane’s work rival India tampers with the invitation so that it turns into a classic Sixteen Candles kegger, although nobody ends up inside a coffee table, which is too bad. Jane makes Duckie help her solve the problem, but she forgets that Male Model showed up with flowers and she hid him in the bedroom, so Andie gets home and he’s sprawled on the bed wearing nothing but rose petals and so Andie is frowny with Jane and takes back the Reward Birkin she’d loaned her. So, the first week, we learned a double life is hard. The second week, we learned a double life is hard. And this week, we learned that a double life? Is hard. I guess consistency is key?

Although, on the consistency tip, I changed up from using the camera and instead tried screengrabs from the streamed episode. Experiments!