This photo came in while Jess and I were out, so I had to show it to her on my phone.

Me: I can’t decide what I think of this dress.

Jess: [squinting at my phone] Who is that?

Me: It’s Natalie Portman.

Jess: …

Me: Yeah, I can’t figure out if something is different with that or not.

Jess: … Pass. Next question.

The next question, of course, being the dress. (I don’t actually think, once viewed in regular size, anything else has changed that significantly.) I actually think it’s cool on her, and that it’s proof positive that Jennifer Lawrence must have pissed off someone at Dior because all the best stuff does not go to her. But you have to understand: I can’t commit to this, because I had not one but TWO diaper-table changing pads in that exact fabric, and so — to put it extremely eloquently — it’s hard for me to figure out why anyone would want to put her boobs inside a thing so deeply adjacent to Things I Can’t Unsee.


  • This is awesome, so try to put diaper things out of your mind (65%, 3,484 Votes)
  • I ALSO HAD THAT CHANGING PAD. And now it's all I can see. (7%, 367 Votes)
  • Meh. (16%, 865 Votes)
  • It's just not to my taste. (12%, 665 Votes)

Total Voters: 5,381

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[Photo: Getty]