Let’s preview what’s going down tomorrow. She is involved:
So embarrassing. I’m actually wearing this right now.
(6) FABIOLA BERACASA v. (14) HAYDEN PANETTIERE
Two upset winners, poised to go head-to-head: will Fab’s wacky fashionista craziness be able to take down Hayden’s Lamb-Dressed-As-Mutton Old for Her Age style? Hayden easily dispatched Halle Berry — the only time Halle Berry will probably lose to Hayden Pantywaist — but Fabiola is cracked out, you guys. This is going to be a close one.
(10) KATERINA GRAHAM v (2) KE$HA
If anyone can take down the girl who spent a lot of last year walking around with a plastic head on a stuck — Ke$ha — it’s the girl who opened one of her YouTube videos by saying, “So, I wear these harem pants almost everyday!” On the other hand, Ke$ha beat her round one opponent, Anna Kendrick, with a GIANT 86% percent of the vote. She might be unstoppable.
(1) LADY GAGA v. (9) AMBER ROSE
Gaga beat Madonna with 77% of the vote, which actually makes me think that she could be taken down this year. Will Defending Champ Amber Rose bring the goods to do it? She sure didn’t have a problem beating Michelle Williams. (To, we suspect, the vast relief of the erstwhile Jen Lindley.)
(5) PAZ DE LA HUERTA v. (4) VARIOUS KARDASHIANS
Fug Nation loves them some Paz de la Huerta — and I’m with you on that. But do we really think Paz can take out ALL THE KARDASHIANS? There’s like sixty of them, and they’re all wearing bandage dresses and carrying jaunty canes. They certainly easily dispatched the Widow Longoria. And SHE went into the fight wearing a pork chop.
(6) MISCHA BARTON v. (3) LEIGHTON MEESTER
The battle of the Josh Schwartz starlets! Leighton certainly has the LIFE advantage — she has a job, for one thing — but Mischa beat her round one opponent, Christina Hendricks, more easily than Leighton got rid of Tom Brady. On the other hand, Christina Hendricks wasn’t bringing Bieber hair to the table…
(10) MARY KATE ASHLEY OLSEN v. (2) THE FAMILY SMITH
It’s the Olsen Family v. the Smith Family in the battle of the Child Stars. Mary Kate/Ashley eventually dispatched GOOP in round one, but Gwynnie put up a good fight, getting 37% of the vote. On the other hand, the Family Smith continued their path for World Domination by smashing Aubrey O’Day, who only got 20% of your vote.
(1) KATY PERRY v. (8) CHLOE SEVIGNY
Well. This one could be interesting — it’s the age-old match-up of Kooky Sparkle Singer versus Kooky Indie Actress. Although these ladies’ could not have a more dissimilar wardrobe, this one could be close. Note: I would pay money for The Sev to show up somewhere wearing a spangled dress in the shape of an ice cream cone.
(5) JESSICA SIMPSON v. (13) SHENAE GRIMES