Ladies and gentlefugs, we have arrived: It’s Fug Madness Bracket Day, our equivalent of Selection Sunday. Let’s call it… Fuglection Friday. We will be releasing the seedings bracket by bracket, and then at the end of the day, a printable version that you can fill out with your predictions. The play-in game is Tuesday, March 19, and then, just as with the NCAA Tourney — the regular matchups kick off on Thursday, March 21. (People are often surprised we wait so late, but it’s because we do things as much in line with the Tournament as possible, and also, we need the buffer after the Oscars to get organized and rested and properly pre-caffeinated.)
Please do not despair if your favorite didn’t make it. It just means that person didn’t have the Year In Fuggery that we had all hoped (SWINTON, who is sitting out this year, we’re looking at you). Allow me to just pilfer this next bit directly from myself, from last year:
As usual, people may be at odds about whether performances, or people who look costumey and/or intentionally over the top, should count. Here are our thoughts, in no particular order:
1) It’s just fun, not for science;
2) If you are a famous person willing to be seen wearing something in public, whether you’re being paid to perform or you’re just at the grocery store, it counts;
3) I reject the notion that looking cracked-out on stage is a necessary by-product of performing;
4) I don’t for one second think any of those costumey people don’t also secretly — or unsecretly — think they look cool; can you imagine saying, “Oh, that thing is SO HIDEOUS and UNFLATTERING, so naturally I can’t wait to wear it on-stage at the Grammys”? Not really;
5) Seriously, I bet Nicki Minaj was FLOORED when people’s reaction to her Pope costume was, “Yawn, lame,” and not, “Woman, I bow down to the eternal potency of your genius.” Meaning, no matter WHAT Gaga or Minaj or Jessie J or whoever is wearing, I’ll wager they wouldn’t do it if a large part of them didn’t think it was going to suck people into their vortex. In other other words, I don’t believe Gaga ever thinks she looks fugly, but rather that she looks majestic and Important, capital letter required. And that is why these people continue to be eligible in our eyes.
We enjoy the debate, but in the end, we encourage you to remember point #1 and try to have fun with the spirited disagreements rather than letting them bum you out.
And now, drum roll…
(1) RITA ORA vs. (16) PLAY-IN WINNER
(2) KAT GRAHAM vs. (15) AMANDA PEET
(3) ANNE HATHAWAY vs. (14) BEYONCE
(4) JESSIE J vs. (13) SELENA GOMEZ
(5) JENNIFER LOPEZ vs. (12) ELIZABETH BANKS
(6) CHLOE SEVIGNY vs. (11) LILY COLE
(7) MORENA BACCARIN vs. (10) ZOSIA MAMET
(8) VANESSA HUDGENS vs. (9) KATIE HOLMES
As usual, once we seeded each celebrity, we used a randomizer to decide which bracket they would go in, and that always yields such unexpected treats. Like Anne Hathaway going up against Beyonce, or Morena Baccarin against Zosia Mamet in the Battle of the Pay Cable Supporting Actresses, a.k.a. The One Who Shows Her Boobs On Showtime vs The Only One Of HBO’s Girls Who Never Does. That might be one of the tougher matchups of the first round.
The identity of the play-in contenders will be unveiled when the game tips off — so to speak — on Tuesday. It’s a good one this year.
Need to read the Fug Madness FAQ? You got it.