It’s ba-aaack: The official Fug Madness seeding committee has met — so, I went over to Jessica’s, basically — and while we drank and supped on a year’s worth of fuggery (read: ate sandwiches, drank Diet Coke, and looked at our archives), we slotted all the names into our field of 64. We picked the one seeds, the two seeds, the three seeds, and so on down to the lowly sixteens, and then let our trusty Internet list randomizer assign each seed to a bracket. And as usual, the randomizer didn’t disappoint.
As usual, people are at odds about whether performances, or people who look costumey and/or intentionally over the top, should count. Here are our thoughts, in no particular order: 1) It’s just fun, not for science; 2) If you are a famous person willing to be seen wearing something in public, whether you’re being paid to perform or you’re just at the grocery store, it counts; 3) I reject the notion that looking cracked-out on stage is the whole point of performing, anyway; 4) I don’t for one second think any of those costumey people don’t also secretly — or unsecretly — think they look amazing; and 5) seriously, I bet Nicki Minaj was FLOORED when people’s reaction to her Pope costume was, “Yawn, you are lame,” and not, “Woman, I bow down to the eternal potency of your genius.” Meaning, no matter WHAT Gaga or Minaj or Jessie J or whoever is wearing, I’ll wager they wouldn’t do it if a large part of them didn’t think it was going to suck people into their vortex. In other words, I don’t believe Gaga ever thinks she looks fugly, but rather that she looks majestic and Important, capital letter required. And that is why these people continue to be eligible in our eyes. We enjoy the debate, but in the end, we encourage you to remember point #1 and try to have fun with the spirited disagreements rather than letting them bum you out.
Now, without further ado:
(1) KATY PERRY vs. (16) PLAY-IN WINNER
(2) ROONEY MARA vs. (15) BRANGELINA
(3) VANESSA HUDGENS vs. (14) LUCY HALE
(4) MILEY CYRUS vs. (13) OLIVIA MUNN
(5) SELENA GOMEZ vs. (12) CHLOE SEVIGNY
(6) MICHELLE WILLIAMS vs. (11) TYRA BANKS
(7) HEIDI KLUM vs. (10) SWINTON
(8) ELIZABETH OLSEN vs. (9) THE OLSEN TWINS
This was, I swear, the whimsy of our randomizer at work — Olsen vs. Olsens is so perfect that there’s no way we’d have done it if the Internet hadn’t deemed it thus. We’re also excited to see how Heidi faces off against SWINTON, and whether Brangelina can survive first-year contender Rooney Mara — who, come to think of it, is an awful lot like an Angelina Jr., no? I could see her wearing some dude’s blood around her neck for a little while, for kicks.
And who’s populating the play-in game? That’s our secret, unveiled when the game tips off — so to speak — on Tuesday. But we think it’s a doozy.
We’ll be revealing the rest of the brackets throughout today, and giving you a printable bracket this afternoon. IT’S ON. (Need a basic primer on how this works? It’s just like the NCAA tourney. Need to read the Fug Madness FAQ? You got it.)