Let’s not pretend THIS didn’t happen:

Honestly, I think I could have handled the meat dress (not really, I’m totally lying) if she hadn’t also trussed up her feet like two rump roasts and slapped a filet on her hair. Can you imagine what it would be like to sit next to this? You’d be all, “HOLY SHIT, I’M SITTING NEXT TO LADY GAGA. Oh my god. Lady Gaga smells like a slaughterhouse. Oh my god, HER MEAT IS TOUCHING ME.”

And then of course there was all this:

You know how I felt about her Egg-rival — HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaj sorry. Fug Madness is exhausting. — not to mention the rest of her Grammy’s get-ups (including, but not limited to giving herself prosthetic horns. Maybe that was novel when The Devil did it, but now? OLD HAT.)

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but I have a list of places that I believe are too unsanitary to go to wearing ONLY MY UNDERPANTS:

It’s actually kind of a long list, but guess what? It does include “YANKEE STADIUM.” Like. Come on. I go to a lot of sporting events. Even the nicest luxury box has been introduced to beer and vomit. WEAR SOMETHING OVER YOUR BITS.  Although maybe I should just be relieved she left the BeDazzled Hannibal Lecter mask at home.

When we originally ran this photo, a reader wisely pointed out that she looks just like Gary Oldman in Dracula.

Gary Oldman as Dracula: cuter than Gaga as Carol Channing, or not? DISCUSS.

Gaga’s opponent is the winner of the play-in game, Madonna, who fought Cher to make it to this point. I think her fashion for the year can be best summed up thusly:

Yes. I’m going to use that picture of Madonna’s butt as AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Lady Gaga (78%, 8,610 Votes)
  • Madonna (22%, 2,484 Votes)

Total Voters: 11,094

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This is an intriguing match-up. I was going to say this might be the only time these two women may meet, but then I realized: I don’t know their lives. Maybe Michelle Williams and Kanye are friends. Amber Rose was recently on RuPaul’s Drag Race — where I learned that her speaking voice sounds like Lina Lamont, from Singing in the Rain — so maybe they’ll run into each other at RuPaul’s birthday party. I DON’T KNOW.

I do know that this is not great:

Her hair is lovely, but she looks like she’s wearing a swanky wine bag.

Speaking of bags:

I don’t know what that transitional phrase was in aid of but there you go. Regardless: this was a travesty. Although perhaps we should be grateful that Michelle — whom you all know that I love, except for how when she started speaking to Ryan Seacrest using a weird English accent at the Oscars, which makes me worry that Something Is Up With Her — did something other than a crew neck. She LOVES a crew neck:


Do I think those are both HOOOOOOOOORRRRIBLE? No. Do I think they could be about a kajillion times better? Yes. Do I think girlfriend is in a YOOOOGE RUT? Hell yes.

NOT in a rut? Last year’s FUG MADNESS CHAMPION, Amber Rose:

How coy! (This photo was originally presented here as part of a very illuminating slideshow in which AR was spotted hanging out with Bai Ling! Champions together!)

I’d like to thank Amber for continuing the Fug Tradition of wearing goofy glasses as a way to amuse me (it always works), and I would like to also thank her for being the celebrity who FINALLY prompted me to accidentally post an entry which merely contained placeholder text, something that long-time readers know I have feared doing FOR YEARS.

And then there’s this:

What can I even say?

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Michelle Williams (16%, 1,748 Votes)
  • Amber Rose (84%, 9,412 Votes)

Total Voters: 11,160

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And now we come to Fug Favorite Paz de le Huerta. I would argue that it’s not so much what she wears that’s so crazy, as the expression on her face when she’s wearing it:

Okay. What she’s wearing there is also pretty crazy. But, like, take this one:

All right. I guess that outfit is also kind of nutty.

But this!

I mean! Right?! It’s just a suit! BUT THE LIPS. WAX LIPS. CRAZYVILLE.

Also residing in Facial Expressions Crazyville 90210: Her Oscars outfit! Her SAGs outfit! Her Globes outfit! Dear Boardwalk Empire, thank you for giving her a job.

Her opponent is Eva Mendes, who is VERY hit or miss, as you will learn from her archives.

Oh, Eva Mendes. REALLY? You are better than a sheer lace bag, right? Parenthetically, Sheer Lace Bag is the name of my indie band.

Opening for us this weekend at the Echo is Sassy Fringe:

And we’re in an indie band fight with Paisley Jumpsuit.  Paisley Jumpsuit is just the WORST.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Paz de la Huerta (85%, 9,452 Votes)
  • Eva Mendes (15%, 1,605 Votes)

Total Voters: 11,057

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Since we’re judging the Kardashians as a group, I felt I HAD to include their hilariously batshit dramatic holiday card.

If I don’t get one of those next year, there will be tears. Actually, maybe Heather and I should do a similar one for our own holiday cards. It will be her, and me. A twelve-pack of Diet Coke. A cardboard cut-out of Intern George. The Don Draper Barbie doll. A picture of Pacey. And, obviously, Chad Michael Murray, who will have just popped by to deliver a pizza. Yes, I’m going to get on this now.

Let’s look at the ladies — now, be aware, this is MUCH more than just this in the Kardasharchives, so don’t forget to take that into account when you vote.




AVERT YOUR EYES REGGIE BUSH (I can’t remember who she’s allegedly dating right now, but come on: girlfriend has never gotten over Reggie Bush.)(Please also know that I accidentally originally typed, “AVERT YOUR EYES, REGGIE MILLER.” Somewhere, Reggie Miller is all, “LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS, PLEASE.”)



And then, of course, there are delicious moments, like so:

Listen, say what you will about the Kardashians — personally, I secretly like Khloe and kind of wish her the best — at least they’re out there hustling for attention.

Unlike the demure and subtle Eva Longoria, she of the always predictable evening gown:

Tee hee. Okay, in fairness, I don’t know if we can really count that in the same way we can count, say, the Meat Dress — this is the bracket Where People Wear Food — because she was wearing it as part of a joke, but I couldn’t NOT use it.

THIS, on the other hand, is totally fair game:

Oh, honey. Honey. No. NO.

And that goes double for this one.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • The Various Kardashians (74%, 8,005 Votes)
  • The Widow Longoria (26%, 2,871 Votes)

Total Voters: 10,876

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