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It is really hard to know what to say about Fabiola, socialite (or ex-socialite, because socialites might be so over that they don’t even really exist anymore) and lady-about-town, except that these pants and their lovely holster give her the abdomen of a 70-year old man playing cribbage in a nursing home.

Contrast that with British “It” Girl, and American “What?” Girl, Alexa Chung. If Fabiola is a geriatric card player, then Alexa is the crackling old dame who gets all the Gin Rummy dates, hasn’t paid for a Jell-O in the cafeteria in five years, and probably handles all the contraband:

Alexa Chung

But that’s not all. She also apparently needs to be able to hang herself from her thighs before running off to the Ren Faire

… and is a former KFC employee who chucked it all to become a bullfighter.

Not to be outdone, Fabiola veered wildly between oh-so-much fabric and way too little:

Or, okay, there’s plenty of fabric here, just none of it is in the right places. She apparently felt like her thighs had a really great year, though, because she flashed them here and here. For a woman named Fab, there is an awful lot of fug being perpetrated here. Again. After a strong push last year, can she top the upstart, or is it — once more with feeling — On With Alexa Chung?

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Fabiola Beracasa (68%, 6,598 Votes)
  • Alexa Chung (32%, 3,104 Votes)

Total Voters: 9,700

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Oh, Halle. You have been so transparent this year. And I mean that literally, at least with respect to your clothes. You didn’t meet a piece of lingerie you didn’t try to turn into an outfit, and did not meet a see-through dress you didn’t embrace. For real.

Somebody was starving for attention, hmm? I bet she has a framed photo of Lady Gaga on her mantel, right next to one of those cheesy posters with, like, a picture of a sunset and the word “MEDITATION” written underneath it in all-caps.

Hayden Pantywaist, though, wants Halle to know that she was not the only person playing peekaboo this year (in fact, having written up several of these matchups, I swear to God EVERYBODY did it).

And then of course there’s this, coupled with the world’s worst short haircut, the likes of which ought to make Halle Berry pass out from triumphant laughter.

But don’t feel bad, Hayden, not even about that time when you tried to wear something full coverage and we saw right through it anyway. (At least you were wearing nipple pads. Praise Jebus.) Because Halle Berry — Halle “Perfectly Symmetrical Face And Figure That Won’t Quit” Berry mucks it up now and again, and not just with the transparencies. She screws up full-coverage outfits, too.

Even Obba Babatunde up there is like, “Honey, it’s okay. We’ve ALL tried to be Prince once in our lives. It’s just that most of us weren’t in our mid-forties when we did it.”

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Halle Berry (40%, 4,144 Votes)
  • Hayden Pantywaist (60%, 6,162 Votes)

Total Voters: 10,306

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These two always dress like they’re in costume for something.

Isabel here is starring in the touching Lifetime movie Not Without My Rumspringa. (Not to be confused with this insanity, which is clearly a still from a movie set in 1982 involving computers that are as heavy as cars and modems that require actual telephones — like, say, a War Games prequel called How About A Nice Game Of Chess?)

Whereas Katerina is clad as Mother, May I Sleep With Linens n’ Things?

I’m not sure what movie this is from, but I’m pretty sure the lead character is a candy-striper who volunteers at Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory on weekends and woke up today with a huge zit on her forehead. Let’s call it Pus Stop. She’s also clearly in contention for a TV movie based on a Lois Duncan book, which we’re calling Vagrant With My Face.

THIS one could be from a movie called Cat Burglesque. Whereas this one, I believe, just goes by Radcakes.

Such delights. How to pick one? But pick one we must.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Isabel Lucas (42%, 4,293 Votes)
  • Katerina Graham (58%, 5,831 Votes)

Total Voters: 10,124

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(2) KE$HA vs. (15) ANNA KENDRICK

I won’t lie, it’s an uphill battle for Anna Kendrick, having to compete with Ke$ha. Because Ke$ha’s fug is so OVERT. Like, she wears shark masks and tiger heads and champions decapitation and might be a plushie and sometimes has a cane:

She also is unable to look like she is not a) trashed, b) living in a Dumpster, c) trashed, d) in an actual trash bag…

… or e) all of the above.

Anna Kendrick’s problems are different. She’s TRYING; she just seems to have a remarkable inability to find clothes that fit properly, coupled with a rampant lack of understanding of what looks good on her figure:

It’s just not good. It’s REALLY not good. It isn’t grotesque, like most everything in Ke$ha’s archive, but it might be a bigger tragedy because Anna seems like a perfectly sensible person — I mean, she picked the one role in Twilight that encourages open mockery of Stupid Bella and Creepy Edward, so she is no dummy — who just… cannot. And this is no good either:

This looks even worse than it did on Emma Roberts. It’s creepy. But is it creepy enough?

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Ke$ha (86%, 8,924 Votes)
  • Anna Kendrick (14%, 1,469 Votes)

Total Voters: 10,393

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