Eva Longoria is mostly out and about promoting Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Road Trip, which is not a sequel to the original Alexander movie adaptation, but rather what they’re calling a “follow-up” in which they are grafting a similar plot onto a different family story. I hadn’t realized the first adaptation did that well, but I guess it made an $80 million profit — and has the distinction of being the first movie Jim Henson Company produced that lacks any puppets, although… wouldn’t it be better with puppets, specifically Muppets? Wouldn’t everything be better with Muppets? White Lotus: Miss Piggy went to high school with Jaclyn, Laurie, and Kate. Lessons in Chemistry: Why, the Swedish Chef, of course. Scooter belongs refining data on Severance. Doctor Odyssey? The rats. Drive to Survive? Well, it’s a reality show, but surely we can get Beauregard in there driving his taxi like he did in The Great Muppet Caper. And I truly believe The Revenant would have been resplendent with Fozzie, although I’m sure he would have preferred auditioning for Cocaine Bear.
None of which has to do with Eva Longoria’s wardrobe, but now that I’m imagining Miss Piggy, Sam the Eagle, and Statler and Waldorf helping out at Castle Cumming on The Traitors, and that’s put me in a good headspace.
