Yes, of course that’s what you’d wear tti38YHOINKH[E08TU306HT60189558288*888w8yq948h2p8b9ubnkzjrhnlzkhjn ;lSHn I’m terribly sorry. I just fell asleep, right on top of my keyboard.
Look, I don’t dislike Aniston at all. Every time I get sucked into an 11pm rerun of Friends, I am struck anew by how good she is. I wish she’d get herself a new TV show and pop into my living room every week. What makes me all SHOUTY is the way her team handles her. Her red carpet looks are unfailingly unnoteworthy –and I think we can all agree that whether we’re squawking about how HORRIBLE something is, or flailing over how fantastic it is, both squawking and flailing are WAY MORE FUN than falling asleep. So we hate your outfit one day — big deal! We may love it the next, and, either way, at least you’re being INTERESTING. (Which is always my argument in favor of people NEVER ACTUALLY listening to us. DEAR GOD, celebrities, DON’T PAY US ANY MIND. SERIOUSLY. Wear that lobster hat with those hip waders! WEAR THEM TO THE OSCARS!) And she may actually BE mad in love with Justin Theroux, but at this point, Jennifer Aniston “suddenly” “finding herself” in a “relationship” right before she has a new movie coming out FEELS utterly contrived — even if it isn’t! In fact, my dream for her is that she and Theroux decide they’re soulmates and get married and have a couple of kids and that way, we’ll NEVER HAVE TO READ ABOUT HER LOVE LIFE AGAIN. She can hint to the press that she’s knocked up every time she has a movie coming out. Or they can hint that they’re having trouble. Or they can pretend they’re both holograms brought down to Earth to report back to the aliens. Something else. ANYTHING BUT WHO SHE’S DATING MY GOD PLEASE I HAVE AN UNENDING PATIENCE FOR CELEBRITY GOSSIP AND EVEN I AM OVER IT ARGH.
Also, try more red! You look good in red! LEAVE THE BLACK IN THE CLOSET FOR TWENTY MINUTES.