Congratulations, Hailee Steinfeld. Your movie Pitch Perfect 2 won the box office this weekend. What are you going to do?
… oh. You’re going to the town’s annual square dance at Big Mike’s Boozenasium, where you’ll filch a bottle of home-brewed bathtub moonshine from Old Lady Terducken’s handbag and then get in the back of some boy’s pickup truck with two bales of hay, a blanket, and a condom that’s three years old. Me, I’d have stuck with Disneyland.