OH MY GOD Y’ALL I HAVE  A JOB. I have to show up everyday and say things and be places and stay awake and not cry and get free Cheetos from Crafty Servicers and Simon Cowell looked at me yesterday and said, “You ARE the new Paula Abdul AREN’T YOU?”, and then he started shaking his head and he backed out of the room and I am pretty sure that means I am going to do GREAT. And Xtina sent me flowers this morning for my dressing room and the card read “Watch Your Back” which is great advice because WHO KNOWS what it happening at the back of this thing? If it’s like the front y’all can totally see my bra strap except I might have forgotten to put on a bra. And I also got a note from Demi Lovato who said I was a great example to her and that looking at the last few years of my life is really keeping her on program which is also SO SWEET and then I ALSO got sent a box of hair that I am pretty sure used to be Jessica Biel’s bangs and the reason I am pretty sure it because the box came from the guy I hired to sneak into her house and cut them off while she slept JUST KIDDING I WOULD NEVER DO THAT (I totally did that). And this morning Jason said I looked like Barbie which is why I am marrying him and, y’all, seriously, can we just talk about the fact that in the six years since SOMEONE (Justin) put out his last album, I have released THREE ALBUMS which were all huge hits? I AM JUST SAYING THIS.

See you on X-Files!