Jamie Lee, my dearest wily Wanda, for whom a subset of fish shall be named forevermore: WHERE ARE YOU right now? Are you maybe just running back up to the house after dragging your trash cans out into the street? Did you just have grab the paper out of the bushes? No mask, walking barefoot past a person whose own covering is down around her chin… I do not like this, Jamie Lee! I do not like this in 2020! I do not like it near a tree, I do not like it on crackers with Brie, I do not like this uncovered spree! Did you consult the CDC? Have you turned on your TV? Did you distance physically from that lady who chucking with glee? I do not like sputum running free! Your bare feet are unsettling me! I do not like it, Jamie Lee! I DO NOT like this in 2020!

[Edited: Goodness, I didn’t think this would get interpreted as shaming. I thought it read like it was a lot more about my current spiraling anxiety than actually trying to scold her, but I guess not? I don’t know where Jamie Lee Curtis lives, and no, I’m not going to look it up; I did suggest she might be just outside her house in the post although I won’t walk any further than my driveway in bare feet because streets re gross, and why is that random person loitering with her mask off outside JLC’s house, unless they are related, or they’re neighbors, and also how far apart are they REALLY, probably further than it looks… and she is wearing a purse, I think, and… it was really just meant to be silliness about how everything freaks me out right now? Oh well! Not every post is gonna be a home run.]

[Photo: Shutterstock]