Okay, so, in the interest of full disclosure, I HAVE had a cold and also hives (SEXY! Also: when I figure out which one of you cursed me, we’re going to need to have a little chat) so I’ve been on a very intriguing cocktail of Benadryl and…other stuff I can’t remember because of the Benadryl. So it is ENTIRELY possible that I am hallucinating, the way I did the other night when I rolled over to look at my bedside clock and was pretty sure that the floor between my bed and the wall was actually made of black ice. “How am I going to clean that?” I thought, “on the other hand, the black ice is where the laundry used to be, so….I can live with this.”

Here’s why I think I might be hallucinating:

Uh, I don’t know what character Lady Gaga is playing right now — rich society matron? — but I do know that whoever that character is. she looks…kinda great. Sure, she’s probably mean to the help and she may have forced her eldest child to go to fat camp and she’s not actually kidding when she says she’s waiting for her husband to die so she can get the money, but, you know…she’s rocking the LBD while she does it.

All I know is, if she performed in this thing, I’m hanging up the fugging hat and getting a job selling mangoes on the side of the road.

Phew. The produce is safe from my hallucinations. For now.

Tags: Lady Gaga