STYLIST: Hey, Maren! So we need to talk about the CMAs, which are coming up.

MAREN: Oooh, good, FINALLY I get to do one of those awards shows in my jammies!


MAREN: And I’ve gotta spruce up my Zoom background. Should I use Four Seasons Total Landscaping?

STYLIST: Well, it’s not–

MAREN: Nah, maybe that’s over already.

STYLIST: First, Four Seasons Total Landscaping will never be over. Second, the CMAs are actually in person.

MAREN: They’re… what?

STYLIST: They’re in person.

MAREN: With… an audience?


MAREN: And a red carpet?


MAREN: And performances?

STYLIST: You’re doing one, yeah.

MAREN: Unmasked?


MAREN: Have they seen the Covid numbers?

STYLIST: I guess not!!!!


STYLIST: I know.

MAREN: Dammit!

STYLIST: And you RSVP’d yes, so I guess we just make the best of it.

MAREN: I can’t believe I missed out on Comfortable Awards Shows. I’m so pissed I wasn’t nominated for an Emmy for… something.

STYLIST: Look at the bright side! We’ve missed clothes! Fancy, extravagant clothes!

MAREN: Okay, but I still want pajama clothes.

STYLIST: Are you sure?

MAREN: Yes. But fancy, extravagant pajama clothes.


MAREN: If I can’t be on my couch all night, then want to look like I’m about to bust into “Freddie, My Love,” from Grease. But also like I’m powder-puffing my face before dancing around in celebration of taking my boss’s resident orphan to the movies. Both. Together.

STYLIST: And this will be… comfortable?

MAREN: No. But it will be TALKED ABOUT.

STYLIST: Sold. I guess.

[Photo: Getty]