FADE IN:

The atelier at Valentino, some vague time in the spring of 2016, a much more reasonable time to be alive.

FRED: Aw, shit.

JENNIFER: What? Did you sew over your finger again?

FRED: [looking inside a box with concern] No. I accidentally ordered this truly insane shower curtain last week when I forgot I’d already taken an Ativan and I took another Ativan and then I got on Amazon. I sort of hoped it might be okay when it showed up.

JENNIFER: It’s not?

FRED: [lifting it out of the box] It’s not.

JENNIFER: Oh no. Are those…grommets?

Fred shrugs.

JENNIFER: It’s festive?

FRED: It’s awful. I can’t hang this in my bathroom.

JENNIFER: Maybe there’s something we can do with it.

FRED: Like what?

JENNIFER: I KNOW.  We were just saying Sarah Jessica’s look for Parsons was too boring.

FRED: I’M NOT GIVING CARRIE BRADSHAW A SHOWER CURTAIN!

JENNIFER: Well, we’d make it into something first, Fred. And of course it would have to go over something. What about….a pinafore?

FRED: Huh.

JENNIFER: We’ll tell her it’s “directional” and “futuristic.”

FRED: Hmm.

JENNIFER: She is so nice. You know she’ll wear it.

FRED: Is that immoral, to trick her into wearing my shower curtain?

JENNIFER: What if we call it recycling?

FRED: Okay, sold.

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