Or it tries to. Half the people who were supposed to be there had their visas denied or confiscated by the Chinese government. But the show must go on — and the show was its usual melange of Miss Universe’s Parade of Nations, Eurovision, and the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics if everyone was competing in bras. Join us as we wonder, “…wait, is that one offensive?” and “why is she wearing such fancy curtains?”


[Photos: WWD/REX/Shutterstock, David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock, Matt Baron/REX/Shutterstock]