Today’s Holiday Spirit Comes Courtesy of Jennifer Garner

This photo charmed me. She looks so endearingly square, like she’s on her way home from the soda shoppe, where she very nearly made eye contact with a boy who came to her table and haltingly told the floor under his feet that her sweatervest reminds him of his grandmother (which is a compliment because he really loves her, and every year she knits him a new one one). This also may have happened at Mark Darcy’s parents’ turkey curry buffet. But it DEFINITELY happened and there was definitely blushing involved. Parenthetically, why haven’t I investigated Christmas sweatervests yet?!? I have a truly hideous Christmas sweater that is SO comfortable (and hideous) but in Los Angeles I could only ever wear it (hideously) for short stretches of time before it got too hot. SEASONAL SWEATERVESTS ARE THE ANSWER. Thank you, Jennifer.

I am a bit more vexed about this non-festive choice:

I am fairly sure that this is a sweater promoting the use of the vaccine, and that those are syringes. But for a slightly-too-long wild ride of my afternoon, I thought those were phallic Empire State Buildings fanning out around — and in one case, plunging into — a vaginal opening. I am in favor of the message of getting the Covid shots, but I wonder if this is actually any cuter in person, or if it STILL looks like a bunch of stabby phallic skyscrapers dancing around an orifice. I am, however, content never to know.

[Photos: Shutterstock]