We’ve already seen what’s possibly, probably, the worst thing Coachella 2017 will offer. Not to get all business-y on you, but: We’re missing one of our usual image providers right now, so until that’s back — it’s out of our control; fingers crossed for this week — we have to hold off on photos of celebrities wandering around the desert between concerts. But there was still plenty to see, thanks to a bevy of parties that essentially amount to people “going to Coachella” by showing up at fancy hotels with beautiful pools and manicured views rather than actually being at any concerts. If you ask me, that’s the best way to do Coachella anyway.

Here are some embeds, to add to the thrill ride. Beginning with a serious WTF contender from Noah Cyrus:

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Noah Cyrus looks like she pulled all of this from a scrapbook she made of her sister Miley’s career.

Dania Ramirez always looks deeply suspicious of her surroundings, but honestly, she’s dressed more normally for a desert concert than Ashlee Simpson and Evan Ross are. I cannot even fathom where Ashlee got her outfit, if it wasn’t at a Mandrell Sisters yard sale.

Then again, as Peyton List The Younger proves, sometimes less is in fact less.

Katy Perry might ALSO be trying to turn into Miley Cyrus.

Whereas Charli XCX seems like she’s that candy racing game from the first Wreck It Ralph movie.

… I mean, this seems fairly standard for a Candy Crush party thrown by Jeremy Scott.

Oh, Scherzinger. What is that shirt hiding, I wonder? Because your dress is concealing nothing.

[Photos: Getty, Revolve/BFA, Zoe Report/BFA, PrettyLittleThing]