The scene: a party for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

The players: Former OJ Simpson trial witness Faye Resnick, on the right, and RHOBH cast member Taylor Armstrong.

Armstrong’s incredibly awkward and ill-punctuated bio on the Bravo Web site claims she “knows how Beverly Hills men work, so she makes sure that she is always looking her best because she knows something younger and prettier can come along and catch her husbands’ [sic] eye.” If dressing like a molting swan with a wedgie and its own Oriface Wrangler is part of that plan, then somebody please put this genius on the Afghanistan problem, pronto.