Remember Brad Pitt’s heinous beard, and how we all thought that was for a movie? Turns out, if it was, it’s a movie he never got around to shooting — and its horrifying existence overshadowed some really awful Man Hair that actually WILL be on screens big and small this fall/winter. Well, let that hair fall by the wayside no longer: This week on Vulture, we’ve spotlighted fifteen of the worst out there, including this:

It’s evocative of men who try to grow mustaches even though their follicles clearly can’t support the effort; like, sir, that’s not a Mohawk, that’s a string of false eyelashes
About whom did we write it? AHA: You’ll have to click to see. Isn’t that fiendish?